


connections

by whitepaint



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, More will be added, tags will change, will have smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:35:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23343334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whitepaint/pseuds/whitepaint
Summary: Johnny was just looking for something to turn into a hobby, not love.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

2019 was, for Johnny's lack of better words, hectic. Flights and stages took up most of his waking hours and there were barely any sleeping hours. He's actually come to call it stress now, instead of work. He's not really a hopeless adult, one that would think rest disappears from a person's vocabulary once they join the working society. But at the speed 127 is going, they might as well forget the word rest because they won't have one in the near future at all. But just like any normal human being (not Mark, most definitely), he has decided three months in that he needed a reliever.  
  
"Because I know how often that brain of yours stay in the gutter," he said to Yuta and Sicheng, who were huddled together in the corner of their dining table with the most sinister smiles. What fans don't know is that the combination of these two is a recipe for disaster. Lewd and nsfw disaster. "I am telling you now, it's not what you think it is."  
  
"Hyung, cut them some slack," Doyoung piped in, obviously trying his best to keep from snickering. "With the type of our job, that line between stress and sexual frustration sometimes blurs, you know."  
  
Slowly, Johnny looked up to the ceiling. He breathed in, counted to five, and then breathed out. This happens a lot, that strong urge to strangle one of his brothers. He regretted telling them, but the tiredness that had accumulated these past months had loosened his tongue. Suddenly, he's thankful he prayed for them before the conversation.  
  
"Okay, let me be more specific. I want a hobby that would relax me in between schedules."  
  
Suddenly, there were over four members on the floor, laughing like he just did comedy. Taeyong, with his almost breathless laugh, was trying to tell him he just made it worse. He honestly didn't get it. It was a harmless statement.  
  
Maybe they were all sexually frustrated.  
  
"I was actually thinking of talking to WayV instead. But seeing as they have Sicheng-"  
  
"And Ten hyung!"  
  
"WayV is the worst choice."  
  
So he decided to go to Dream's dorm instead. He was pretty confident these kids are bound to have something occupying their time. They are kids after all.  
  


*.*

  
"We were jobless for a long time, hyung," Jeno said, smiling with his eyes almost closed. "Of course, we have to have something occupying our time."  
  
"I mean point, but still."  
  
"I have finger games, hyung." Jaemin said, still in the middle of thinking. Johhny thought it was sweet that they're taking him seriously. "Like that knot thing. It's really just a rope where you try different types of knots. Just something that keeps my hands from being idle. That makes me nervous, you see."  
  
"Or those small metal puzzles that you have to separate," was Chenle's suggestion. "Jisung was crazy over that for a while."  
  
Just then, the front door opened and a rather sleepy Renjun came in. Only then did Johnny realize how late it was already, as Renjun actually came back from his radio show. But the younger still literally lit up when he saw Johnny.  
  
"Hyung!" Renjun screamed as he launched himself onto the taller man. "Long time no see!"  
  
If he didn't think this was sweet, he would be scared. He really wasn't close to most members of Dream, except for Jaemin and Jeno. He wasn't even close to Jisung. But the boys were warm and welcoming. They make it easy for other people to come to them and talk to them. Yes, for the lack of better words (Johnny's been losing a lot of the contents of his vocab bank lately), they were really sweet.  
  
"What are you doing here, hyung?"  
  
"Just hanging out."  
  
"Hyung's looking for a relaxing hobby."  
  
"Painting!"  
  
Only when Renjun leapt off him did Johnny realize Renjun was sitting snugly on his lap the whole time. For some reason, it felt so natural that he didn't even notice. But he noticed the glaring absence of warmth after.  
  
"I'm not sure about that," he said slowly as they all stood and followed Renjun to his room. He was rummaging through a plastic box on the floor that was almost half his size. At the back of his mind, Johnny remembered Lucas telling him Renjun has a box that can fit him in case they run out of traveling money. "I'm not artistic, Junnie."  
  
"No one is not artistic, hyung," Renjun said, pulling something out of the box with a triumphant squeal. "And _this_ is where you begin improving."  
  
It was a package of printed paper and small tubs of paint. Upon closer inspection, Johnny saw that the paper's print had numbers in it. Johnny then knew it was those paint by number sets a lot of adults were raving about on the internet.  
  
"It's easy to follow but along the way, you'll learn painting techniques and color concepts. Also, it's watercolor and watercolor paper so it dries fast, easy to put away. And small too, so easy to carry around."  
  
"Injun, are you selling that to hyung?"  
  
*.*  
  
A few hours later, when Johnny was back in his room, he decided to unpack the painting set. His mind went back to the time he received the set. Apparently, all of the Dream members have tried the set once before. Jeno said it actually was a good stress reliever. Chenle used one to help him train his focus too.  
  
"Hyung, what's that?" Donghyuck asked upon finding the older in their shared room.  
  
"Renjun's paint by number set."  
  
"Oh, it has finally reached 127! Renjun used that when we were younger for bonding. We would talk a lot while painting. That's really nice."  
  
 _Sounds so Renjun to do that_ , Johnny thought.  
  
*.*  
  
For some reason, Donghyuck's statement stuck to him. While the painting set was a nice distraction when he merely wants to relax, he couldn't help but think it would feel better working on it if he was talking to Renjun. Everyone and their parents knew that would be impossible but he can't help think the painting set isn't doing its job very well.  
  
"Hyung, can you turn the radio on," Mark asked their driving manager from the back very back of the van. They were on their way home from the airport after another event oversees. "Just until we get home. Renjun has Chenle over at his show."  
  
"Even if you won't understand?" Doyoung asked, genuinely curious.  
  
"Renjun's voice is very soothing," Taeyong answered on Mark's behalf. "When I can't sleep but really need to, I listen to him."  
  
"Yeah, that radio show is actually god-sent for the insomniacs." Yuta added, smiling like the proud brother he suddenly is.  
  
*.*  
  
Johnny: hyungs listened to your show today  
Renjun: T.T right on the day I sounded terrible  
Johnny: what do you mean you sounded nice  
Johnny: very relaxing  
Renjun: did you listen in the van!?  
Johnny: yeah why  
Renjun: hyung you could've gotten the driver falling asleep behind the wheel!!!!!  
Johnny: so you admit your voice sounded nice enough to fall asleep to  
Johnny: how cunning  
Renjun: you're the one who said that hyung xp  
  
*.*  
  
Performing at Macy's was weird. But Johnny blamed that on Jungwoo. The younger was trying to guilt them for performing without him, complete with fake sobs and the pout everyone in SM Entertainment would be ready to die for. Johnny knew it was a joke, but he couldn't help but ask, albeit only in his head, why they are a sub-unit instead of a whole group flying around and performing everywhere. He totally understood the concept of their band; he's not stupid and he knows where to place his stubbornness. But at the back of his head, he knew some fans were right. One, they might as well be a separate band. Two, they're overpowering the other members.  
  
"Hyung, you're not the only one," Jaehyun said that rare moment they were able to sit down and talk the real talk. "I think the reason they put too many members in NCT is because they want us to feel like we have to compete for attention and fame. It's like they had sadistically liked how Super Junior worked back then."  
  
At first, Johnny thought it was a very sardonic look at things. But the longer they worked outside South Korea, the more he thought the numbers in their name was a representation of the superiority complex of the higher ups in their company. More importantly, Dream would someday be just that: a fever dream.


	2. Chapter 2

The stress melted for a while when Johnny filmed NCT Life with the others. It was rest in a solo soda bottle, short but refreshing. Very refreshing. What he loved the most about it was the constant presence of food. He ate and ate and ate. Best of all, he ate with his family. Watching Donghyuck eat made him feel healthy; it felt like the younger eating meant all of them were okay. Jaehyun too; watching him eat made Johnny feel lucky that he’s always eating delicious food. NCT Life them good.

“NCT Life but it’s only you and another member,” Donghyuck said on their way back to Seoul, when all the cameras have been taken off their pegs and the van was back to giving them their privacy. They were talking about the memories they just finished making. “Who would you take, where are you going and why?”

While the others took turns answering, Johnny got to thinking. How did they go from discussing the past to suddenly making up futures? NCT is a messy group but, somehow, the concept of time has never been part of their mess. While it is, most of the time, difficult for some of them to look back, the presence of each other helped them a lot in dealing. This, and the fun of the present time, help soften blows. This in turn put more excitement in looking into the future, both near and far.

“Jeno, of course,” Doyoung said as Johnny came back from being dazed. “But I’d let him choose where to go. That kid has not been out of Seoul before that isn’t for work.”

“Johnny hyung?”

He had one in mind. If he was being honest, he’s had that one particular member in mind since the beginning of the year. But it really didn’t sink in that that member had practically lived in his head until he started painting closed spaces that only had numbers in them.

“Renjun. If it’s possible to leave the country again for a season of NCT Life, I’ll take him somewhere he can express his creativity to the fullest. He seems to have a lot of potential in the arts that he can’t explore because of where he is now.”

He wasn’t going to act as if he knew Renjun as much as the others who were actually close to the boy. But he trusts his instincts when they tell him things. And they told him Renjun is an explosion of everything beautiful in this world waiting to happen. Through observations alone, he’s learned how profound Renjun’s words are, not always eloquent but always loaded; that his nimble fingers tend to create beautiful, tiny things; how everyone around him somehow becomes loved and well taken care of.

Suddenly, Renjun was the one he wanted to talk about the past and plan many futures with. Suddenly, he wanted Renjun to be part of the future he has always been determined to build. But again, he didn’t know Renjun as much as those who were actually close to him. That’s why, suddenly, Johnny was scared of prodding on the reasons why he’s been thinking of Renjun a lot lately.

*.*

Renjun: you seem to have enjoyed your mini vacation

Renjun: I’m glad

Johnny: wish you were there

Renjun: hahaha

Johnny: I’m serious

Johnny: I wanted to get to know Huang Renjun

Johnny: after all, we are part of the same band

*.*

Urges come in different forms for different people. For Johnny, it’s the urge to drive one time, and the urge to hide somewhere that can accommodate his huge size another time. these urges of his, unlike Taeyong’s and Mark’s, come at random moments. This time, for no reason at all, he had the urge to do both. Add to that the strong urge to take someone, a very specific someone, with him.

Johnny: where are you

Renjun: dorm hyung

Renjun: why

Johnny: get dressed

Johnny: I’ll be there in about 5 mins

Renjun: going somewhere

Renjun: or just to hang out here

Renjun: cause if we’re just hanging out here

Renjun: you’ll have to deal with my ratty boxers

Johnny: thank you for the effort you’re willing to put into seeing me

Johnny: but we’re going out

Ten minutes later, the two found themselves in Oh Sehun’s car. Renjun was terrified at first because it was a senior’s car that they could end up ruining. But with the promise of safe driving and a very mellow night away from the city, he was easily sold. Johnny couldn’t help but mentally pat him on the back.

Halfway through the drive, it seemed Renjun had fully relaxed, enough to start a conversation and connect his phone to the car’s audio. In turn, Renjun’s taste in music helped Johnny relax. He honestly felt like he was kidnapping the younger because they only told one manager, Sehun and none of the other people living in Renjun’s dorm. He made a mental note to bring something back for the people they surely scared.

“So, what’s this impromptu drive for?” Renjun asked, turning his body to face Johnny as much as the seatbelt would allow him. “How important is this that you had to borrow Sehun sunbae’s car?”

“Actually, I’ve done this before,” Johnny answered with a grin that he knew Renjun interpreted as trouble. “hyung and I practically share this car now.”

“Conjugal property, how bold of you both.”

Johnny laughed, almost the full-bodied laugh he lets out when he enjoys a really good joke if not for the fact that he was driving. Trust Renjun to be quick with his thinking and witty with his delivery. He didn’t even think of it that way, he and Sehun just tend to share a lot of stuff, especially those they share common interests with. Oh Sehun is, after all, one of his best friends.

“What else do you two share?”

“underwear.”

When it was Renjun’s turn to laugh, Johnny found it unfair. Fuck if he was exaggerating, Renjun sounded like an angel. Suddenly, his hands were sweating, and his mind was screaming at him to park for a second just to breathe. He’s always entertained the idea of having a tinnie tiny crush on Renjun but he didn’t think it would be this bad.

“Seriously, hyung,” Renjun said once he’s stopped laughing. “Why are we on a driver to goodness knows where?”

“Just wanted to breathe fresh air. We’re just going to be at the edge of Seoul, nowhere too far. I was thinking of stargazing. You wanna grab some snacks before we settle?”

Renjun didn’t answer for a while. Johnny thought he’s fallen asleep somehow, but when he risked a glance at the other boy, Renjun was staring at him.

“Are you okay, hyung?”

“What made you ask that?”

“People don’t drive like this unless they want to sift through their thoughts. And usually, those thoughts tend to be the bothersome type.”

Johnny had two answers. The honest answer was that he’s been wanting to see Renjun in the flesh for so long. And with that desire to see him came the desire to learn more about him. The fake answer was that he’s worried about his future. He chose to answer honestly.

“What does hyung want to know?”

“Everything.”

“Good thing we have all night.”

*.*

They talked for three hours. They talked about everything they could remember to talk about. The plan to stargaze was scratched in favor of talking. Johnny asked a lot of questions that Renjun happily answered. Renjun too had a lot of questions about Johnny’s life in the US that he was more than happy to answer. By the time they remembered to take note of their surroundings, it was already too late and Renjun worried Johnny was too tired to drive the long distance.

“Can’t we just stay somewhere so you can properly rest before driving again?”

“They only have crappy motels here, Junnie. Is that okay?”

“I’d rather not be picky, hyung. I really want you to rest before driving again.”

Johnny felt kind of guilty for worrying Renjun. But he honestly didn’t think the younger would be that worried. He was, after all, the one who invited Renjun to that long drive. And when they found a room to rest, Renjun still had the mind to take care of him despite obviously being just as tired.

“Don’t do that!” Renjun almost screamed when Johnny tucked his arms under his head. The boy had to sit back up just to be able to pull with all his strength one of Johnny’s arms free. “I don’t have Moomin! I need a huggie or I won’t be able to sleep!”

“What are you, five!?”

After maneuvering for over a minute, they made do with Renjun lying his head on Johnny’s chest so the shorter can use his whole upper torso as his “huggie”. It was so fucking domestic, Johnny thought. From the moment they entered the room to that very moment they’re lying down, everything felt so fucking domestic. And Johnny, through all of it, felt in the deepest part of his heart how much he wanted this to be their normal. As his consciousness was slowly taken over by fatigue, he thought Renjun’s perfect place was right there, securely tucked onto his side.


	3. Chapter 3

Johnny didn’t notice that something was missing until they were about five minutes away from the dorm building. Though he wasn’t able to point out what it was until Renjun got out of the car after saying goodbye. Renjun was wearing the hoodie Johnny wore yesterday. Johnny wouldn’t have minded it if he hadn’t worn the thing for almost the whole day. It must have stank of sweat and pedestrian smoke.

Johnny: yo hoodie thief

Renjun: wrong number hyung

Johnny: lmao so we playing this game

Johnny: ok

Renjun: you are aware none of mine will fit you right

Damn, Renjun got him good. But he didn’t want to go down without a fight, he still had a little bit of pride left. Though the length of his silence must have satisfied Renjun, proof was his next text.

Renjun: Huang – 1 ; Suh – 0

*.*

When Doyoung said Donghyuck and his friends are scary, he laughed. Donghyuck was his child, there’s no way he would believe such an angel to be evil. That is until his hoodies started missing. Here’s the thing though: Mark’s and Donghyuck’s closets are one and the same. Donghyuck would never take Johnny’s when Mark has more than enough for the both of them.

“Injun-ah, I’ll be leaving soon, you need anything?” Donghyuck was talking to Renjun on the phone as he prepared to leave their dorm. Johnny, having nothing to do for the rest of the day, took to cleaning up after Donghyuck, following the younger around their room. This is one of Donghyuck’s bad habits: he turns their room upside-down when he prepares to sleep over at the dream dorm.

“Johnny hyung’s hoodie.”

When Donghyuck looked at him, his expression was blank, like he’s waiting for Johnny to finally snap. Suddenly, he was reminded of Doyoung’s warning. Donghyuck and his friends are scary in the fact alone that Dongyhuck is an enabler. With a smirk, he took Donghyuck’s phone.

“Return the ones you stole first.”

There was silence for a few seconds, occupied only by a hum and a rustling of fabric. And then, “Hyung, have you ever gotten back _anything_ that was stolen from you?”

Johnny closed his eyes and saw, in the darkness, “Huang – 100 ; Suh – 0” in bold neon blocks. At this rate, he’s going to lose not just in points, but his whole closet too.

But then again, why was he not feeling bad about it? Why, when he discovered that Renjun could be the one taking his hoodies, did he think the boy can take everything and he’d gladly give more? Why, despite losing, did he feel like his heart is swelling?

“One hoodie ready for shipment, sir,” he answered with a mock resigned tone.

“No, wait! Spray it with your perfume, hyung!”

“What?”

“He said-“

“I heard him. But why?”

“I love the smell of your perfume, hyung. It’s a fruit that I can’t identify. But it smells like something from home.”

That statement made him feel a lot of things. It made him feel so much that he couldn’t decide whether he saved someone in his past life or actually committed the worst crime on earth. What he’s sure of though, is that Renjun has Johnny Seo in the palm of his hands.

*.*

In the hands of Huang Renjun, you either wither or bloom. Mark and Donghyuck didn’t understand at first, because they only ever bloomed in the presence of Renjun. Johnny too, saw how much one can receive when Renjun nurtures. But he also saw the boy’s wrath. And it’s not the wrath he unleashes when he chokes the other Dream members, nor when he releases sharp and scathing words. His wrath is quiet vengeance for hurting one of his.

“Disaster comes from careless talk.” Renjun said as he stared at the staff dead in the eyes. They were in the prep room of a concert venue, preparing for an event as a whole group. The staff seemed to have been a part of the stage team because she was the one who kept calling for them to come up for rehearsal. The first time she went into their room, Taeyong said they were done with their stage check and the staff left with an annoyed huff. She came back a few more times only to be told by Taeyong the same thing, that they were done with their turn. The last time she did though, she snapped. She called Taeyong names and shouted about how much of a useless leader he is. Five seconds in, everyone heard the loud bang of a chair that fell to the floor. Before they knew what exactly was happening, Renjun was between Taeyong and the staff. He didn’t speak further, just stared at her straight in the eyes until she left crying.

From the perspective of an outsider, it’s easy to think of Renjun as the common asshole of a celebrity. He has actions and words that are easy to misinterpret. But from the perspective of someone who sees everything, it’s easiest to entrust respect to Renjun more than anyone else. The more Johnny looked at Renjun, the easier it got to see an ideal. Though he felt it was wrong, the thought that someone so young could be a basis of how a person should be gave Johnny comfort. It gave Johnny the assurance that there’s still hope for them.

“Let’s just go easy on the worshiping please,” Kun said, stirring the broth they had in the stove, days after the event. “He’s not perfect and he’ll let you down along the way. It’ll just break both your and his heart.”

The problem was that he didn’t know when and where to stop. So much for not seeing each other often, Renjun’s just stuck in his head. He didn’t mean to put the boy in a pedestal way higher than him, but it’s just so easy with Renjun. It’s not even because he’s perfect. He was so, so human. That alone made him so magnificent. A tiny body holding a humongous soul.

“I’m sure hyung will listen to reason,” Ten said, passing a bowl to Kun, “when we tell him to stop. Don’t worry, hyung. We’ll only tell you to stop when you become obsessive.”

“And you know these things running inside your head right now,” Kun gave him a warm gaze as he threaded his fingers through Johnny’s hair. “These can lead to that, obsession.”


End file.
